Ninety more days

It's been two weeks since i've moved on to campus. It feels like an eternity already. So much has already happened. So far college has been alright. I cant deny the fact that i feel as thought i did not pick the right college. everyone here is so serious, so smart, so unlike me. at least i have not found people who likes to get silly like me yet. but of course it's only been two weeks. i just keep thinking what it would have been like if i had went to berkeley. yes i would be close to home but at least i get to see everyone i love. eventually i think i will start to love harvard. but for now i can not help but feel as though i don't fit in somehow. everyone here is nice. i love my roommates. i love the people i've met. but it still does not feel right. i really miss my boyfriend! i miss him so fuckin much. i want him to be here with me. i know he'd take such good care of me. i miss panda who would be silly with me all the time. i miss my family! i miss my mom's wonderful soup! i cant wait till these ninety days pass & i get to go home & see everyone i miss. i miss sushi house too man. lmao. so i feel as though all my free time is consumed here. theres class in the mornins. then theres practice mornings & nights. yesterday was the game. i was freezing my ass off in that dumb dumb cold football field in my lil cheer outfit. sighh. if i had gone to cal there woulda been more skoo spirit. kinda wished that i went there now. i just think cal would have fit my personality better, even though harvard is a more prestigious school. i don't know if i made the right choice. with harvard, im hoping id get a nice future without much work. im hoping i can jus graduate & get recruited for a nice lil job, retire early. but i don't know if i would have as much fun in the process of college as every other college student should have. i wanted to blog more, but all my thoughts are escaping me rite now, more later i guess.

Alone in boston

Ok, so maybe technically I'm not alone in Boston, there's family here, anna & mari is here, people i know here, but yet I feel that I am finally an independent individual. My mom left this morning at 6:30 for the airport, I went of course. It was hard seeing her leave, I wanted to cry, but I really didnt want to do it in front of my uncle, I knew that if I let my tears run down, I'd just start bawling right there at the airport. Everytime I think about my mom I feel sad, this is going to be the longest I've ever been away from her. I'm not exactly sure I will survive without her constantly nagging at me. I'm gona miss that. Last night I was talking to Danny, I felt so helpless because I know that there are problems going on right now with him, yet I'm so far away. When i had arguments with my mom this summer, he was always there for me, I wish i can do the same for him. If i was still home, I'd drive right to his house & give him a big old hug, but now that i'm in boston, I can't exactly jump on an airplane to fly back home & give him a kiss. I just wish i can be more of a support for him. I know what i can do is limited. It's been a week since i've moved to boston. I know that i made the right decision coming here, leaving everything behind, becuase I really am looking forward to moving in later today & starting college life here. I'm ready to be challenged. Hopefully I can meet up to all the difficulties ima face while i'm here. Just wanted to blog & say that I miss everyone home, PANDA, danny, & my family.

Goodbye.

So last night i was really touched when all of panda, danny, kevin , & leo were there to see me good bye. when we hugged one last time i just started tearing up & started crying, i couldnt help it. i was about to leave some of the best people i have ever met. the efforts you all made to see me off really meant a lot to me. the whole event was so heartfelt & warming. like abby said, it was like a movie-ending! i just felt so loved and i witnessed such true friendship. i cant wait till december comes & i get to see these best friends again! i watched those videos on the camera, they made me tear up on the airplane! then when i was in the airport checkin my laptop & i saw the post-its, i teared up again! when i saw all the girls crying, i couldnt help but cry as i walked down that path towards the boarding area. i was standing there crying & some lady walked up to me & asked me what was wrong. it has been a crazy couple of last weeks for me. when i saw my bestest friend nancy crying, i couldnt help and cry some more. because like she said, we really are best buddies, we tell each other every single thing. then i started thinking about what me & anh has went thru this summer, with all this boy drama & she was crying & that made me cry too. & despite the fact that me & abby arent that close, we are still so connected. yes, i will always have their backs. no matter what. for life. i cant wait till i get rich enough to get a mansion so all my favorite girls can live in it together too! that will be the life. i know what we have is true friendship, i cant deny that i did not doubt it before, but i know now that what we have is real. i love you guys so much!

i cant believe how close i've gotten to these skyline boys this summer: danny & kevin. i know we started out as just people who were connected because of whoever liking whoever. but then we really got to know each other & we got closer. then we started walking the lake together & eating at yummy guide together. im so glad that it all happened. because i gained two really good friends [one whos a wonderful boyfriend].

& i just wanted to say that danny has truly been an amazing boyfriend. no matter what he's doing, he always has me on his mind, always has my best interest in his heart. im so fortunate to have this bff/bf. even at the last minute he was praying for me & got me this cute buddha necklace to keep me safe. i <3 him so much!

this summer has been truly wonderful. i know that as panda, we will continue to have an amazing winter, summer & future together! i <3 yall!